I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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