He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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