Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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