Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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