Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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