he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
