my vag is so smooth its legendary
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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