So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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