Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
