Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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