I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
