She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
