We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
