just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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