2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
