Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
