His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
