never play flip cup with pint glasses
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
