I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
