I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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