I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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