As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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