I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
pray to the hookup gods
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
