So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
