My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
