Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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