some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
