You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
