I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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