You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No subtext here. People are naked.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
