Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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