Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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