So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I would fuck him just for his dog
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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