dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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