you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize