Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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