would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
