Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
