I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
