Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
