allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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