Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
