I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
