I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize