It's like God shit irony all over that family
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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