You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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