We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize