jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
