sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
