went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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