I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
