You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
