girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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