Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
