whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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