dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Randomize
