I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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