I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
