guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
