Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
