Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
