I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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