omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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