Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
