Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
