new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
