ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
