just come out here and I will go home with you...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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