piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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