I need to stop coming to work sober
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
