Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
