dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Me. At least after what I've been through.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize