so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
