I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
