Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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