Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
