My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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