How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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