I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
