im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
