just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
sarcasm needs its own font
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
